i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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