Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
