what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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