it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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