I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Randomize
