I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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