Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
well I can't set my house on fire every night
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
