i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
