Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
