We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He shit in the fireplace
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
