new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
