my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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