clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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