You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
