If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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