its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
