Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I am spending my child support on dildos
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Please don't give away my fajitas
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
