so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Four minutes until I can fart!
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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