Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
