You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
