i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
