I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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