Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
