Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
