i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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