It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
