Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
