THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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