My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
look no pants
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
