so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
