You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Randomize
