Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
