Acid is not a monday night drug
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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