we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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