he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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