So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
