marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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