it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I just want to make out with him forever
Randomize
