why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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