I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
