Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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