If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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