one two three fourrrrnication!
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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