I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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