You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
