Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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