I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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