It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
