Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
