you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
