There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize