Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
