she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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