Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(804): View more from Virginia

So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...

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(423): View more from Tennessee

i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.

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(913): View more from Kansas

The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.

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(917): View more from New York City

i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.

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(904): View more from Florida

Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...

(862): View more from New Jersey

This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.

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(714): View more from California

It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds

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(316): View more from Kansas

DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????

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