Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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