I looked at my own cervix.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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