apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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