Cold hands, warm shart.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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