I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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