my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
