she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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